i dont need you to take care of me i take care of myself thats what i do
I was told by a skillful guy friend recently while on the topic of my singlehood how I'm the type of girl that doesn't need a guy to look later on her and that intimidates some guys. I didn't really right him because I knew he was right.
I grew up used to doing things on my own. I hate the thought of having guys carry my purses. I bask the occasional picture and dinner on my own (add a recent discovery of drinking out by myself). I adopt shopping without a hapless dude following me around to carry my shopping bags. I don't need anyone to take intendance of me in that respect. I was raised to exist quite independent and frankly, I wouldn't have it whatever other way.
However, that does not mean that I don't want companionship. I've been single my unabridged life and it's something I've plant very difficult to talk almost until recently. I've had a few acquaintances and new friends grill me most it and curiously asking why I haven't been in a relationship. I would just shrug and say, "Information technology just didn't happen for me."
I was a normal teenager/young adult with a bunch of extra curricular stuff but that didn't mean I didn't take fourth dimension to have crushes and be completely befuddled by the opposite sex. But somehow at that place just wasn't any boy who'd have the courage to tell me upfront that he liked me and wanted to go to know me better. Certain, you can say that I should just initiate it merely attempt telling that to a shy, somewhat socially bad-mannered teenage daughter and run into if she doesn't just hide behind her books forever.
It really didn't just happen for me. And for the longest fourth dimension that made me question my worth as a person. I always idea that something was wrong with me. Of class, I know at present there isn't annihilation wrong with me and that I'chiliad actually great person.
"You didn't have guys tell you they like you?" Someone would ask me. In that location were those I'd like to phone call whisper on the walls a.k.a. "I know someone who likes you" but then that wouldn't really materialize into anything. I'd been told on more than than 1 occasion that "my success" (I'm not certain what they mean) makes me intimidating.
I told the same friend I mentioned at the start of this entry that those experiences fabricated me realize that I didn't want to be with a guy who didn't even take the balls to admit to my face up that he was interested in me. I tin can't have someone who is intimidated past "my successes" (nosotros all have different measures for success, then I really do not get that).
And I take now reached the point in my life where I'm starting to form what it is I come to look for in a potential partner. Obviously, I still decline to settle (nor do I think that I will ever settle). I wrote about this recently on my journal and that is what this long winding intro is generally for.
"You see, I desire a man in my life that has his ambitions. We don't have to like the same things but I hope he is supportive of my own wants and ambitions. I don't need him to lug around my things. I but desire him to be there for me. I don't desire him to give up his independence for me. He'southward complimentary to pursue his passions and have as many guy nights as he wants because I wait him to afford me the same respect. I don't need him to have care of me, I can practice that for myself. What I want is his affection. I want his love. I don't want my life choices questioned but I want someone willing to footstep in if I am on the verge of pain others or myself. I want a man who can call me on my shit. I don't similar listen games. You like me, y'all tell me. If y'all don't, then tell me that besides. I detest having my time wasted. I desire someone who inspires me to exist meliorate and will brand me want to help him amend himself."
This is such a touchy subject for me but I have grown plenty as a person to know that I can't actually deny this function of me because information technology is something that has helped me get who I am. And while I have kept this topic stored in the back of my listen every bit a potential post, what helped push button this over the edge was this interview with Katie Heaney. She'due south the writer of Never Take I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without A Date. She basically made a book out of my life. Haha. Okay, not really but she was also 25 when she wrote this (or had this published, I'thousand non really sure) and didn't actually engagement. You can read an excerpt she put up over at Refinery 29. And she likewise has this other neat interview with Salon that is worth a read as well.
Source: https://wanderinggeekette.wordpress.com/2014/01/19/i-dont-need-you-to-take-care-of-me/
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